Unlock the Insights That Changed My Life
Each week, I share a glimpse of my ideas and perspectives on life in short 5-minute emails. But there’s so much more depth to explore.
As you might’ve (or might not have) noticed, I’ve been on an unannounced 3-month hiatus.
The reason for this being - I got upgraded from boyfriend to husband, by marrying my best friend, the girl of my dreams, my unconditional lover and supporter, and my partner in justice and crime, Marise.
The last few months have been a whirlwind. I’ve barely had any time to breathe - from wedding planning to wedding functions, to attending my best friends’ weddings, to celebrating Christmas and New Year’s with family and friends, and balancing a full-time job through the whole thing.
But we’re here. We’ve made it to the other side. I’m a married man in 2025, which sounds absurd to say - so I want to use this newsletter to reflect on the last few months.
I’m going to try to list 5 things that I’m grateful for, and I hope some of them resonate with you too.
(Oh and, I’m not pretty sure it’s too late but, Happy New Year!)
On Family
Not just my blood, but my chosen family too. I am especially lucky, privileged, and humbled to have both.
I spoke to my mother about the importance of family one night, and as she’s always told me, and as it has always been proven to me by them, family will always be there for me.
I’m paraphrasing here but this is what she said…
“No matter how bad of an argument you get into with them, no matter how serious the fight is, learn to rise above it, learn to make amends, because when the going gets tough, Family is going to be the one that has your back. Nobody else.”
And I’ve seen this to be true, in big ways and in small.
But at the same time…
I had another conversation with another parent figure in my life about chosen family.
Again, paraphrasing what they said…
"The people who have stood by me and supported me through life's toughest moments are those I've met along the way and formed deep bonds with. To me, they are family—the ones I will always stand up for and help without a second thought.”
And what a beautiful sentiment that is to have - to have the freedom, honour, and ability to choose your own family - to choose your tribe.
I think it’s one of the most powerful and profoundly meaningful statements one can say to a person who isn’t related to them by blood -
“We are family.”
On Setting Boundaries
When I first went down to my hometown, Goa, I found it insanely hard to balance work, play and being there for family. Living independently in London, I am used to looking out for myself, making sure I am sustained, and carving out time for loved ones in the free time that I have.
Being down in Goa for 3 months and living in close proximity with family and friends sent me into a lifestyle shock. Everyone was calling me everywhere, every time, all at once.
To help with this, to hang out here, to deliver this to that person’s house - and the problem was that I wanted to do all of that too! I wanted to help, I wanted to hang out, and I wanted to be there for the people I love for the limited time that I get to. But it got to a point where I was making absolutely no time for myself.
I remember asking an uncle of mine, who also works from home, “How the FUCK do you balance work while living in Goa?”, to which he simply responded…
“By saying no.”
Not just to others, but to yourself too.
Just because you want to, doesn’t mean you should.
(It’s something I’m still learning to put into practice.)
On Having A Home Away From Home
A select few amount of people will be able to relate to this - those who have moved states and countries away.
Away from their homes, to build a home of their own.
I am constantly torn between wanting to be in my home, versus wanting to be in my home.
It’s a bittersweet feeling.
There’s not a moment that goes by that I don’t wonder if I made the right choice, even when I know I did.
There’s not a moment that goes by that I don’t wonder what my life would look like if I had stayed.
There’s not a moment that goes by that I don’t appreciate the life I’m building, even as I long for the one I left behind.
There’s not a moment that goes by where I feel like I belong, while missing the comfort of belonging without explanation.
There’s not a moment that goes by that I don’t feel guilty for missing one home while enjoying the other.
There’s not a moment that goes by that I don’t feel both full and empty at the same time.
On Community
Oh, how I miss the feeling of community in my new home. And I don’t mean the immediate people you surround yourself with - but society as a whole.
From what I’ve observed, first-world countries (or maybe just big cities) tend to breed a more individualistic society, as compared to my hometown in Goa.
Everyone’s looking out for themselves. Everyone wants to find the shortest route to their destination. Everyone seems to have blinders on - and there’s an efficiency to it, sure - but at what cost?
One example of a sense of community in Goa that always comes to mind is a traffic jam. Back in a Goan village, or even in the city, if a roadblock occurs and there’s no policeman in sight, a local or a passerby will step up without hesitation. They’ll leave their house or car and start directing traffic, simply because it needs to be done.
They don’t get paid. They don’t expect thanks. They don’t seek recognition. They do it because, in their eyes, the well-being of the community is everyone’s responsibility.
Here’s another example…
My aunt once baked a vegan cake for my sister’s in-laws who were vegan (mind you, the idea of veganism is still pretty alien to people in Goa, especially the older generations). On receiving it, they were astounded by the gesture she made. They couldn’t believe it and were super grateful.
Meanwhile, in London, I don’t even know my neighbor’s first name.
On Marriage
Growing up, I never believed in the institution of marriage.
I saw it as a construct—something created to regulate society, to provide a sense of order, and to offer a false sense of security. And in many ways, that’s exactly what it is.
But then, I met Marise.
And through Marise, I began to understand that love—real, unfiltered, imperfect love—is not a contract, custom, nor a destination. It’s a journey. It is the journey.
A journey shaped by us. A journey shaped by her.
A journey through the highs and the lows. The laughter and the arguments. The days when love feels effortless and the days when it’s a choice.
Somewhere along the way, I realized that while we might have only just signed the legal and religious documents, we’ve been married for a long time.
Through the fights that ended in understanding.
Through the unwavering belief in each other when no one else would have been foolish enough to bet on us.
Through the growing pains, from reckless kids to the adults, we are today.
Through sickness and health. In good times and in bad.
And then, there’s the wedding.
For years, I thought weddings were a pointless extravagance—a performance for others, an unnecessary spectacle.
But now, standing on the other side of it, I see it differently.
The time, the money, the effort, the stress, the anticipation, the sheer weight of it all—it’s overwhelming. But then, to have my closest family, my aforementioned chosen family, our people standing with us, witnessing, celebrating, and feeling the depth of what Marise and I have built together—and to have Marise standing by me, as she always has, through everything—
It’s worth it.
It’s so worth it.
And I’d take my stance on this hill and die on it: a wedding is not just a day. It’s a testament. To love. To commitment. To choices.
To the wild, beautiful, imperfect journey of it all.
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Currently Consuming:
Pods
Books
Ryan Holiday’s “The Obstacle Is The Way”
Mel Robbins’ “The High 5 Habit”
Ryan Holiday’s “The Daily Stoic”
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You’re too kind Aayushi 🫶🏼 Thank you from both of us 🥰
Glad you enjoyed this piece 🥰
I did assume you were on a hiatus. Good to see you back. As always, a really thoughtful piece. Wish you both a very happy married life ☺️